Telling Your Kids About the Divorce

Once you decide to move forward with the divorce process, you will likely begin telling those closest to you about it. If you have children, informing them about the divorce might be one of the most difficult conversations you have as a parent and it is crucial to break the news to them as delicately as possible.

Tips to Handle the Divorce Talk with Your Children

How you handle this conversation with your children will have a profound impact on their ability to cope with the coming changes, so it is important to prepare for it.

We compiled a list of tips that will help you prepare for this conversation with your children:

  1. Do not share inappropriate information: Although your children will likely ask why the divorce is happening, you should not take this as an opportunity to overshare and badmouth your co-parent. It might feel good to get it all out, but it will only hurt your children and make them feel like they have to choose sides, which can be incredibly damaging to their happiness and overall wellbeing.
  1. Break the news together: No matter how much you would rather do this on your own, your children will benefit from having this conversation as a family. To ensure it goes smoothly, coordinate with your spouse first. You do not have to script out the conversation, but you should review the points you would like to discuss. Preparing for this discussion together will help you avoid confusing your children with conflicting messages.
  1. Do not blame each other: You and your spouse probably hold each other responsible for the divorce, but now is not the time to point fingers at each other. Instead of blaming each other for the divorce in front of your children, let them know that it was an adult decision and nothing they did or could have done would have changed it. Although it is obvious to you and your spouse that your kids did not cause the divorce, it will not be obvious to them, so make sure you emphasize this point.
  1. Let them know they are loved: Your children are going to feel a lot of anxiety and uncertainty, so you need to offer them as much reassurance as possible, especially when it comes to your love for them. Let them know that just because their parents will no longer be together, it does not change the fact that you love them and will always be there for them.
  1. Be ready for follow-ups: After your initial conversation with them, you can more to follow once they have enough time to process everything you discussed with them. Let them know they can always talk to you about their concerns and feelings regarding the divorce and how it might affect them. Be mindful about your answers, however. You should continue to avoid badmouthing your spouse when discussing the divorce with your children.

Schedule a Consultation with a Compassionate Divorce Attorney

Getting a divorce is an emotionally challenging experience for a family, which is why it is crucial to hire an experienced family law attorney to handle your case. At SmartLaw our divorce attorney is committed to helping clients reach a mutually agreeable outcome and, if necessary, will litigate your case in court.

Call us today at to schedule a consultation.

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